tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91606008517143898582024-02-19T09:05:00.393-08:00Advocating for Health: The Many Faces of Health & IllnessWelcome to Advocating for Health: The Many Faces of Health & Illness! This page is dedicated to my personal experiences with chronic health conditions & the medical system. This site is not a medical site/blog page, but rather, a commentary on my own personal journey through the medical world, my battles with symptoms and side affects related to the spinal abnormality called Spondylolisthesis, auto immune diseases, chronic illness & pain, and all of the details in-between.Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-74663850643423268472012-04-11T03:36:00.000-07:002012-04-11T03:36:26.127-07:00Spondylolisthesis Resource Links ...<div style="font: 13.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b; font-size: medium;">This document contains resource links for everything involving Spondylolisthesis. </span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">This document contains a compilation of resource links related to Spondylolisthesis. The main intention of this list is to offer everything from general information, treatments, surgical information, disability-related resources, and everything in-between that relates to Spondylolisthesis. I have begun by creating different "categories" as they come to mind. If you have any additional suggestions, please contact me so that I may add resource links to this list. I hope this selection may be helpful when seeking assistance and treatments for a wide array of matters to do with Spondylolisthesis! I will continue to add resource links as I find them, so please check back in the future if you don't see what you're currently looking for ... Please also feel free to contact me at </span><a href="mailto:spondyostories@gmail.com"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">spondyostories@gmail.com</span></b></span></a> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">with any questions regarding these and other resources!</span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 12.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><b><i></i></b></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>*Are you interested in joining the *closed* Spondylolisthesis & Retrolisthesis Support Group on Facebook? Please click on the link and ask to join! </i></b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/spondylolisthesis.support/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>My.Spondyo.Group</b></span></a><span style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS;"><b> </b></span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">My most recent support group is called Spondylolisthesis & Pregnancy. If you are a female with this spine condition and would like support and information regarding pregnancy, please click the link and request o join: </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/spondylolisthesisandpregnancy/">Spondyo.Pregnancy.Group</a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 13.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b; font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>GENERAL INFORMATION FOR SPONDYLOLISTHESIS:</b></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Spine Health </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b; font-size: 14px;"> <a href="http://www.spine-health.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spine-health.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Spine Universe </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.spineuniverse.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spineuniverse.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Spine Universe</b> (Pertaining to high grade Spondylolisthesis slips)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.spineuniverse.com/professional/pathology/degenerative/high-grade-l5-s1-spondylolisthesis"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spineuniverse.com/professional/pathology/degenerative/high-grade-l5-s1-spondylolisthesis</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">PubMed Health (U.S. National Library of Medicine - Spondylolisthesis)</span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002240/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002240/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>OrthoInfo - AAOS </b>(American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons - Spondylolisthesis)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00053"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://orthoinfo.aaos.org/topic.cfm?topic=a00053</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 12.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>SURGICAL TREATMENTS/INTERVENTIONS:</b></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Laser Spine Institute </b>(Endoscopic Spine Surgery for Spondylolisthesis)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.laserspineinstitute.com/back_problems/spondylolisthesis/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.laserspineinstitute.com/back_problems/spondylolisthesis/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>The Bonati Spine Institute </b>(Laser Spine Surgery)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.bonati.com/conditions/Spondylolisthesis/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.bonati.com/conditions/Spondylolisthesis/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>North American Spine</b> (Minimally Invasive Spine Care)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.northamericanspine.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.northamericanspine.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Spine Centers of America </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.spinecentersofamerica.com/spondylolisthesis.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spinecentersofamerica.com/spondylolisthesis.html</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Mayo Clinic </b>(Back Surgery - When it's a Good Idea & Spinal Fusion - Why it's Done)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/back-surgery/HQ00305"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/back-surgery/HQ00305</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/spinal-fusion/MY01235/DSECTION=why-its-done"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/spinal-fusion/MY01235/DSECTION=why-its-done</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 12.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>MASSAGE & ALTERNATIVE TREATMENT RESOURCE LINKS:</b></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Massage Therapist Locator & Referral for the United States</b> (Assists in locating a large number of different kinds of massage therapists/treatments in your given region)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.massagetherapy.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.massagetherapy.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Soma Massage Integration Therapy</b> (Information regarding Soma Massage & Practitioner Locator)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.soma-institute.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.soma-institute.org/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Reiki Energy Work</b> (Definition & General Information about Reiki Energy Work)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.reiki.nu/reiki/reiki.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.reiki.nu/reiki/reiki.html</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Physical Therapy & Occupational Therapy for Spondylolisthesis </b>(Spine Universe)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spondylolisthesis/physical-therapy-spondylolisthesis"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spondylolisthesis/physical-therapy-spondylolisthesis</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Chiropractic Care for Spondylolisthesis </b>(Spine Universe)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spondylolisthesis/chiropractic-care-spondylolisthesis"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spondylolisthesis/chiropractic-care-spondylolisthesis</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 12.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>DISABILITY, INSURANCE, FINANCIAL & MEDICAL-RELATED ASSISTANCE RESOURCES: </b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 25.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Basic Disability Resources (United States)</span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="https://disability.gov/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">https://disability.gov/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Social Security Administration </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.ssa.gov/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.ssa.gov/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Medicare </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.medicare.gov/default.aspx"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.medicare.gov/default.aspx</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">Medicaid </span></b></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.medicaid.gov/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.medicaid.gov/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>AARP Health </b>(Supplemental Insurance Coverage for Medicare - 50 plus & Disabled)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.aarphealthcare.com/home.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.aarphealthcare.com/home.html</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Getting Approved for Social Security Disability Benefits </b>(Post Brenna wrote about obtaining approval for SSDI - Suggestions, Tips & Info., derived from own SSDI case & speedy approval)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;">-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b; font-size: 14px;"> <a href="http://spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com/p/getting-approved-for-social-security.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com/p/getting-approved-for-social-security.html</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Health Insurance Plans</b> (Locate and Compare Health Insurance Plans Online)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.ehealthinsurance.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.ehealthinsurance.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Health Insurance Plans </b>(Locate and Compare Health Insurance Plans Online)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;"> <a href="https://www.affordable-health-insurance-plans.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">https://www.affordable-health-insurance-plans.org/</span></a></span></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><b></b></div><div style="font: 16.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: medium;"><b>BLOGS & WEBSITES WHICH PROVIDE ADDITIONAL RESOURCES & SUPPORT FOR ALL THINGS RELATED TO CHRONIC HEALTH CONDITIONS:</b></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>"The Spoon Theory" document/But You Don't Look Sick </b>(Gives a wonderful sense of what it's like to live with a chronic health condition - A WONDERFUL way to get others in one's life to truly understand what it's like to live with a chronic illness and/or disability! This website, butyoudontlooksick.com, also offers a large array of additional resources.)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Spondylolisthesis Stories</b> (Brenna's website collecting individual's stories regarding Spondylolisthesis)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://spondylolisthesisstories.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://spondylolisthesisstories.blogspot.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Spondylolisthesis Grade 5</b> (Brenna's personal blog about Spondylolisthesis)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="http://spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">http://spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com/</span></a></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Papyrus; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Trebuchet MS; line-height: 16.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: 14px;"><b>Spondylolisthesis Open Forum on Facebook </b>(Brenna's Spondylolisthesis Facebook Page)</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">- </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Spondylolisthesis-An-Open-Forum-To-Discuss-Spondylolisthesis/255570241154982"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">https://www.facebook.com/pages/Spondylolisthesis-An-Open-Forum-To-Discuss-Spondylolisthesis/255570241154982</span></a></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Trebuchet MS'; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;"><br />
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</div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-52441582422706527552011-10-20T16:45:00.000-07:002012-01-12T03:19:45.763-08:00Pre & Post Operative X-Rays (From my 1997 surgeries & body traction)<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">So, I've been waiting quite some time to take photos of my pre & post operative x-rays from my surgeries & full body traction circa 1997, ... and today I finally did it! Yay! I do plan on creating a more extensive post than this in the very near future, but for now, I will simply post my x-rays from way back when to start things off. I am also in the process of getting copies of my more recent x-rays. Specifically the films which show a better picture of what my spine now looks like as a result of the deterioration, degeneration, and early-onset OsteoArthritis in the L4, L3 & L2 vertebras above my fusion region. In addition, I plan on posting my most recent slip found in my neck, located at the C6 & 7, which thankfully is a grade 1/2, but is certainly still troublesome! If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to type away! </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyChRPjk9BSzW_wwvqGXYS2WsiYcPtc_bHc5n8F94rXTv9cwaVJ7aNzI3-dUdB4s6uaQh7k_uv4BqxsxzGL4ScurVrwo4IJAOudoBExjRrr2JzhFgy2xUapjAWFDAeTRlYugJwDVdYJx0/s1600/S3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyChRPjk9BSzW_wwvqGXYS2WsiYcPtc_bHc5n8F94rXTv9cwaVJ7aNzI3-dUdB4s6uaQh7k_uv4BqxsxzGL4ScurVrwo4IJAOudoBExjRrr2JzhFgy2xUapjAWFDAeTRlYugJwDVdYJx0/s640/S3.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="480" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"> Pre-Operative 1997 - Complete slip called Spondyloptosis</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmtK8yVqusHdoGNpFNKMTlpcH3zEmSgVxkfa8hgTfz4H6AOOpr9ARpkukcOOWhUHaK3BoPAbQgDCCZSlhVGCTF_P6k2AH6dywW2KKi-rXy65bSZhL2DFXWEDMS4-5O5ap7l124agyU3I/s1600/S4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmtK8yVqusHdoGNpFNKMTlpcH3zEmSgVxkfa8hgTfz4H6AOOpr9ARpkukcOOWhUHaK3BoPAbQgDCCZSlhVGCTF_P6k2AH6dywW2KKi-rXy65bSZhL2DFXWEDMS4-5O5ap7l124agyU3I/s640/S4.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="480" /></span></span></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">Post-Operative 1997. After full body traction, which increased </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">my height by 3 inches, but L5/S1 still sits at a grade 5 Spondylolisthesis. </span></span></span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-69461182114045812732011-10-20T16:39:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:18:35.745-08:00Soma Body Massage & Reiki Energy Work Therapies<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 16px;"><strong></strong></span><br />
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<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Bell MT'; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal;"></span></span></strong></div><div style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I have dealt with a number of chronic health conditions - including 20 years of chronic pain issues - and through my journey I have sought and experienced a number of treatments. I have been fortunate to find a few treatments that help, and of course, several others that don't.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Papyrus; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 25px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As a general rule we have two areas of medicine to choose from when it comes to everything from diagnostics to treatment options for any given condition. Western medicine offers many wonderful and accurate ways of diagnosing conditions, along with providing some very helpful treatments, specifically surgeries and certain powerful drugs to keep us alive. But, there's also something missing from the western medicine model of healthcare. In my opinion, crucial concepts for healing the body, as well as most preventative care, are not part of the western medicine equation.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">By the time I was given a diagnosis, my spine condition had become so severe that the only way I was going to survive - and hope to avoid paralysis - was through a series of complex surgeries and medical procedures. Had my condition been caught earlier on in the disease progression, some alternative healing modalities would have gone a long way towards improving my condition, ultimately lessening the required surgical intervention and even limiting, if not eliminating the permanent nerve deficit which is now a part of my life.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">One cannot go back in time, but, I can share my gained experience and knowledge with anyone willing to listen. Two healing practices which have greatly improved my health, my overall functioning, and my life, are called Soma Body Massage and Reiki Energy Healing. I have witnessed many amazing positive effects from both forms of treatment within my own body and life, as well as witnessing similar results in others' lives. I would not promote either of these practices if I did not have 110% confidence in their power to assist in healing the body.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">My mom found the practice known as Soma Body Work/Integration about 6 months prior to my surgeries. I began sessions in the Fall of 1996. Typically 2-3 sessions a month. While my pain never truly eased all that much - specifically due to the extreme slip in my low back - the results of the Soma sessions were pretty unbelievable. I went into surgery in the Spring of 1997, and before going under I was x-rayed to verify the exact placement of the vertebras. With the 6 months that had passed, the surgeons anticipated an increase in the slip degree, but to their shock & amazement, my spine had actually began moving upwards in the direction and position is was supposed to be. Before beginning these treatments my mother had conferred with the doctor to ensure the safety of the practice. He said that there was no harm in it, but that it was likely a waste of money, as if it relieved the pain at all, it would only be for a very brief time. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Well, Soma is not your typical massage work and boy was he blown away by the results. As the story goes, he walked into the waiting room and shared the surprising news that there had been movement in the spine, and not in the undesired direction. He was boggled and couldn't figure out why or how this could happen; he's never witnessed it before! My mom just smiled and simply said, "Soma." </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">In the provided additional links, please take a moment to view two sites which fully explain each respective therapy/treatment/practice. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or would like information for a referral to a Soma and/or Reiki Practitioner, please message me at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_776398602"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">H</span></a></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_776398602"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">ealthandillness@gmail.com</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">. </span></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">You can also find me at my Spondylolisthesis blog: </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://Spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">http://Spondylolisthesisgrade5.blogspot.com</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">. </span></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Resource Websites for Soma & Reiki: </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">Soma: </span><a href="http://www.soma-institute.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">http://www.soma-institute.org/</span></a></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">Reiki: </span><a href="http://www.reiki.nu/reiki/reiki.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966;">http://www.reiki.nu/reiki/reiki.html</span></a></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Papyrus; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 25px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Soma Institute - Soma Neuromuscular Integration</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a href="http://www.soma-institute.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffd966; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">www.soma-institute.org</span></a></div><strong style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Bell MT'; font-size: large;"></span></strong>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-22346032926173940922011-10-17T19:09:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:15:56.166-08:00Thrown Off Course By Chronic Illness ... A New Path To Something Beautiful<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Everything I have experienced in my life has contributed to the goals and dreams I once held for my future, specifically in relation to my career(s). Just as I have grown, changed, and shaped as a person, so have my hopes for the future, with my plans and expectations molding and altering with every step I took in search of that ultimate destination we seek call "success." </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I, like many other little girls, held many big and lofty dreams, and true expectations for my future career and life. And, like most little girls who are asked what they want to be when they grow up, my answers frequently skirted along the lines of becoming a veterinarian or doctor, and one cannot fail to mention the fantasy careers like that of a professional ice skater, a beauty queen, or an actress. I even dreamed of becoming a cat resuer and cat "rancher." Whatever that means and entails, I am not quite sure, but it sure sounded good, and honestly, it still does. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">We dream big as little kids. Our entire life lays before us with a plethora of opportunities and a seemingly limitless list possibilities. The world is at our fingertips, and by all regards, it is ours for the taking. We aren't yet damaged, nor so severely affected by many unforeseen, and often unavoidable, life traumas at that point in time (at least the majority of us still fit nicely into this category. Unfortunately it's not always the case for every child and trauma and tragedy strikes at a far too early age). And, if we are raised in a loving and supportive family, by caring and encouraging parents, we are by most accounts, children with countless dreams which have taken strong root for a brilliant future reality. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I was fortunate to grow up in such a household. I was encouraged to do whatever I wanted; to shoot for my dreams, whatever they may be. I was told that I was smart. I was given confidence, a well-rounded education, and the love needed to grow into an intelligent and capable adult. All systems were a-go, but there was one thing neither myself nor my parents expected to affect nearly every aspect of my life, my body, and my future: My ongoing battles with health conditions. Of course, even with a health condition, we still have dreams, and we are still capable of obtaining those dreams, just in a different way, and typically, by way of a severely detoured route, so to speak. Although, I don't think anyone can truly prepare for trauma to the body, mind, spirit, or life in general, especially in the younger years of life. And while such extreme events and circumstances are capable of robbing many things from your future dreams, they also enrich our lives and our future's in ways which we would have never anticipated nor intended. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As I moved past my surgeries, and into my late teens, I began to think seriously about my future and what I wanted it to look like. I am not trying to brag or sound trite when I say that I knew I had many talents, skills, smarts, capabilities, and the opportunity to be whatever I wanted (aside from a professional athlete or something in that realm). I think all in all, I simply had a healthy dose of self confidence, and that's definitely not a bad thing in my book. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">My families' careers centered around both areas of law and psychology. I am a Libra, and therefore, also have a natural attraction and inclination for both subjects, although I must share that I was initially dead set on avoiding both feilds of work. After all, these areas are what defined my parents' individual selfs within a career model, and just like every other kid, I was desperately seeking to become my own person. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">For a few years I tended to resist both, even as the smallest glimmer of possibility. I then made the decision to pursue several aspects within the health world; more specifically, natural medicines and various holistic type therapies and practices. I wanted to offer a combo platter of sorts, which would encompass the many facets of the health and wellness concept as a whole. While I pursued my AA & BA degrees in Psychology for a foundation, I began dipping my toes into the worlds of personal training, nutrition, massage therapy and reiki energy work. I then began to look at becoming a ND or Acupuncturist. As I moved through my last two years as an undergrad, I found that I could no longer resist my natural talent and general interest for Law and Psychology, and felt that my future was meant to entail something from each area. Combining the two subjects seemed ideal. I then made the decision to move towards becoming a PsyD within the world of Forensic Psychology. My ultimate goal was to attend grad school in a dual program for my JD and PsyD. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Yes, I had set the bar high and felt a strong need to prove myself to the world, .. and perhaps maybe even to myself. Something of a lofty and impressive (not to mention a very time & energy consuming and finanically taxing) direction to take. Just like many other students experience, I had some serious doubts about myself and my decisions. Worries over money, in addition to an ever-increasing anxiety centered around my general capabilities and intelligence levels, began to overwhelm my thoughts. A large nagging question remained in the back of my mind: What if I did it, and then decided I didn't want to be a Psychologist and/or an Attorney? Then what? I am first a failure - both to myself and my family - in addition to a laughing stock, with the subsequent ever-dreaded sense of guilt layered on top. So, with lingering confusion upon my graduation, I did what I thought to be the most "responsible" plan of action and direction. Instead of jumping directly into a graduate program, I obtained my counseling license, which was quickly followed by a job at a treatment center working as a counselor with children (my official title was quite hilarious, making me sound much more important than my true position entailed ... I was labeled an "Intervention Prevention Specialist Counselor," a mouthful, I know). I hoped that this experience would provide me a better sense of myself, what I should and could do, and in some bizarre way, assist in "fail proofing" me and my future. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">My main goal and hope was for the clouds to part, the sun to shine down with brillant clarity, and with one swift movement, I would be enlightened as to what path to travel at this large, and oh so important, fork in the road of life. Did I want to be in the world of law and/or psychology? Did I have the stomach for it? Was I too compassionate? Did my body have enough to give to keep me going through both an intensive graduate program, then onto a high stress, high intensity job position? All answers I was unsure of, and kept me from moving forward from both my law applications and my psych grad program applications for the time being. Of course, life is never that uncomplicated, and there were other factors at play, but I think you get the picture. In a nutshell, I was frustrated, confused, fearful, and somewhat lost. I wanted to be so many things ... I wanted to use all of my talents, enjoy my multiple loves and passions, .. And I most definitely did not want to make the "wrong" decision, and think "what if?" Of course, as we age we learn the big life lesson that we will always make the wrong decisions at times, and that ultimately it only helps to shape us in ways we never anticipated. But, the younger we are, the more challenging this concept is, and it's one which is truly hard to "get." </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;">I have always been a person with a strong sense of intuition. But, when it came to this matter, for some reason I was so stuck that I couldn't even decipher how to follow my intuition and heart, as I simply didn't know what it was telling me at that point in time. I was recently reminded of a quote by Steve Jobs which truly encompasses this struggle. During a commencement speech he said the following: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;">"</span><span style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;">"Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice ... have the courage to follow your heart & intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become." I thought this was a profound statement, one that most certainly embodies much of what I was feeling, and often still hovers in the back of my mind.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"> I was incredibly overly concerned with everybody else; specifically what they thought, what they were worried about and what they wanted me to do. I am a self professed "people pleaser" after all, and while I have actively and consciously worked on that flaw for the past 10 or so years, it's always been something of an issue, and sometimes a true road block for my forward movement in life. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Now, just like with anyone's life, there's always layers of issues occurring at any given point in time, and I am no exception to that rule. More specifically, I am saying that it was not only my internal battle which affected that point in my life, as much much more was going on, although what exactly, and to what degree, were two things I was not clear on, even within my own head. That first year out of college is when I truly began to experience the downfall of my health status. I still kick myself for not going to grad school right out of the gate, getting it done while I felt well enough to do so .. and heck, maybe I could have distracted myself from my symptoms. But, in reality - in that never failing, crystal clear thing we refer to as hindsight - I know that I would not have made it, strictly on a physical basis. And the fear there was simple. Put simply, I would be stuck with massive student loans, unable to complete my degree, unable to get a job in that field, and unable to pay that money back. Virtually drowning in a lack of money and a chronically sick and pained body. Something that doesn't sound like a great circumstance by any stretch of the imagination. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">It took over 4 years (probably more like 5. or even 6, when taking into consideration how long those diseases have likely run amuck in my body) to get answers; a diagnosis, or rather diagnoses, for my auto immune diseases. I first began to notice a few symptoms in my mid-twenties, and with time passing, they only increased in both number and degree. The official diagnoses were given at the age of 29, almost 6 months to the day before my 30 birthday. I have spent the second half of my twenties sick, seeking help, and lost in the world of basic survival. It's interesting to recognize that the same sort of battle scenario occurred for my spine condition as a little girl. And in both instances, my world was forever changed; leaving me with a "new" body, a very different life, .. even something of an altered character, personality, spirit, and mind. By all accounts, I was transformed and shaped into something a bit different than before; a person redesigned by the trauma endured. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">We all have dreams, plans, hopes, and even expectations for the future. And while these things never play out exactly as we dreamt of, still, we generally see something of the life we wanted unfold perfectly imperfect as time passes. Each stage of our life appears to be dedicated to various goals, learning lessons, and life stages, and when these plans are completely thrown off course, we are left to pick up the pieces, find new perspective, clarity, and start again with something new ... with something which better suits us, and compliments our state of mind and body, .. and then we grab for new hopes and dreams and redesign our journeys. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Eventually our life journeys, and the subsequent experienced traumas, begin to affect us in profound ways and we must step out of the box we once built for our future and take the first step on a new path. Sometimes we are thrown curve-balls and roadblocks appear at the least likely locations. We must make a choice to either climb over, go around, or completely destroy what lies so stubbornly in our path. And sometimes, when none of the above are possible, we even find ourselves slamming on the breaks of that proverbial car and throwing the "vehicle" into reverse, in search of a brand new road, and onto uncharted waters possessing tremendous potential awaits us ... Why do flip a 180 and run because of human nature and the most primal emotions? Perhaps out of fear. and other times, this drastic about face may be accredited simply to exhaustion, or even a sudden lack of interest. I've wanted to be a great many things in my 30 years on earth. I've felt both confident, completely defeated and worthless. It's hard to separate what the correct and perfect path is, and while it all too often seems our inner self knows exactly what to do, we press mute on that little voice and allow fear or the opinions and influence of others to determine our actions. Again, maybe this too is simply part of the learning process, but it certainly makes for some complicated life decisions, regrets, and if we allow, resentment. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Sometimes I feel like a complete and udder failure, an embarrassment, not to mention incredibly ashamed and guilty. I want so much for myself and my future. I want to share myself, my skills, my knowledge, and I want to make a difference and actually derive joy and satifsfation from my careers and life. Yes, I do have several "titles" now, but none are complete, and I feel so far from the person I hoped to be in the aspect of careers and overall future successes. I would still love to have several seriously amazing degrees, specifically doctorates in psych and law, and even a MD. I'd also love to have a degree in journalism and a masters in therapy/counseling. I want so desperately for these years I've spent sick and trying to just get through the day, to mean something. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fff2cc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I want to prove to everyone - but most importantly to myself - that I am still the girl everyone thought was going places, to be amazingly accomplished and successful. I want so much, yet I sit in frustration and anger, .. resentment and guilt ... worry, ... and so much more negativity. I try to beat down these less than desirable feelings from my life; to irradicate them from my very being and existence, as I know they do not serve me. But, on the other side of the proverbial coin, I still feel so very lost, and I often wish I could jump out of this body, this ridiculous illness, and replace it with a healthy model and pursue my dreams with all the gusto I feel in my heart and soul. </span></div><div><br />
</div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-51745808898759093432011-10-15T01:46:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:16:04.939-08:00The Need and Lack of Compassion & Understanding with Chronic Illness<div style="color: #444444; font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 14.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Anyone like to share about their struggles with getting family and friends to understand what they deal with in regard to chronic illness? I will start by sharing a piece of my story and subsequent feelings and experiences around this subject. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">While I've had a few family members and friends who have been supportive, understanding and empathetic - in relation to my chronic illnesses since day one - I've experienced more negativity, and a general lack of understanding, from the majority of people in my life. I know that this issue is not an uncommon one when it comes to those who battle any chronic illness, and I am very interested to hear how others have dealt with this matter. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Some people offered genuine understanding, support and empathy, right from the onset of my symptoms, while others ... well, let's just say that I'm still waiting! And, to be very honest, I do understand that unless you've dealt with a similar issue yourself, it's really hard to relate to what another may feel in this respect. I've even had a few experiences where a person has come back to me after they too found themselves in a similar health related battle, and apologize for how they treated me. Admitting to the fact that they judged me based on stereotypes that many have when it comes to their ill counterparts. While I certainly don't wish any illness or medical problems upon anyone, it is nice to have some validation for what you've been dealing with, especially after being so harshly judged and/or criticized. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">It never ceases to amaze me how people take things personally; believing that because I don't feel well, and therefore, I am not physically able to go out and do this or that, that it's an excuse and that it's about THEM ... Not about the simple fact that when you don't feel good, you don't want to go out. Sometimes you can barely muster the energy to get dressed! I know that's hard to wrap your head around when you're a generally healthy individual ... Heck, only a few years ago, I really couldn't grasp how a shower & getting dressed could be exhausting and leave one completely unable to continue on without a rest! In a world and a life full of healthy, young and energetic people, that concept couldn't be more foreign, right?!? </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">As a general rule, It's a hard to say "no" to people, especially when you're a polite "people pleaser" ... It's hard to have the same miserable answer for every question that entails how you're doing and feeling ... It's hard not to feel guilty ... It's hard to feel like you're screaming at the top of your lungs and not being heard ... It's hard to disappoint people on a regular basis ... And, it's hard to accept the fact that your body no longer does what you want it to, nor feels like you'd expect it to feel at thirty years of age! Learning to say "no," and not feel guilty about it, has been a really tough life lesson for me. But, as the years march on, I am becoming a pro at it .. or perhaps a really confident and experienced minor leaguer, lol. One thing that makes me so frustrated with all of this, is the insinuation that in some way, shape or form, one actually enjoys being and feeling sick the majority of the time!</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">Before I became ill with my auto immune diseases, I was only dealing with my spine condition, Spondylolisthesis, and it's various related issues. I had my surgeries when I was 15 years old, and afterwards, for about 8 years or so, I functioned pretty normally. I had little pain in comparison to before my surgeries, a considerable larger degree of energy compared to the present day, and of course, no additional crazy symptoms (ones that can stop you dead in your tracks, like chronic nausea, extreme fatigue and fevers). Even in this glorious state of physical being I once enjoyed, I still had to pace myself; being careful not to over do things so I didn't throw my back out, or become overly tired from the resulting pain. But, all in all, I was pretty darn healthy, and certainly very active considering the severity of my spine condition. I worked two part time jobs during high school and half way through college, and went to school full time. I also had enough energy, and general sense of well being, to conduct the rest of my life without blinking an eye or thinking twice. My apartment was always emaculate, even with three crazy kitty cats and a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">very</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;"> messy boyfriend. I had an active social life, and spent a lot of time with my family as well. I even had the time and ability to throw in a few of my favorite hobbies, along with my intense workout schedule, which topped off at 3 hours a day, 5 to 6 days a week. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Yes, I felt pretty darn good during that time, and I couldn't conceive of how one might struggle to do the most basic things like bathing or folding laundry. But, even during this period of time, I found that I couldn't do it all, or at least as much as many others did. Many people worked full time and went to school full time; something I was unable to do myself. I was fortunate enough to have a supportive family who helped to pay for my college degree. Something that I know is not always a real possibility and option for others, and I am beyond thankful for that gift of a good education. During the last two years at UW, I decided to stop working (as I wasn't making much money anyways and I was able to do better in school if I was in less pain, therefore, more rest and less stress was required). While I was grateful for all I had - especially my ability to walk following my surgeries - I still struggled to some degree, and couldn't simply compete with others in many regards. I remember talking to this one girl after class and sharing pieces of my life. I revealed that I was not working, along with a comment about how I was doing in the given course we were taking together. Her reply was full of sarcasm and attitude, and really took me by surprise. She said, "Well, if I was as lucky as you are and didn't have to work because Mommy and Daddy paid for my school, then I'd be doing as well as you do too." This comment bothered me in a number of ways, but most specifically, it irritated me because if I could, I would have traded my less than stellar body for her healthy body in a heartbeat! I told her as such and she seemed to understand, at least I'd like to think she did. Still, that comment, and ones like it, have long tortured me. I would prefer to be healthy, pain free, energetic, etc., and therefore, able to work and go to school full time, verses not! For someone to say that they'd rather be in my shoes and experience chronic pain, depilating symptoms, fatigue, etc., than have a healthy body and be able to do all they want and need, simply makes me more angry and nauseous than I already am! Plus, it feels really invalidating in many respects as well. I can't imagine saying something like that to someone else, friend or stranger alike. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">In the past few years, as my illnesses have progressed, those latter activities, like bathing and doing laundry, have become very big tasks, and forget going out and being social! Even if I feel decent (not flaring and experiencing massive inflammation in my face and joints, nor look like an accident victim as a result of my skin presentations), by the time I am done getting ready, I am exhausted! It sounds so very ridiculous to many of those who can't even fathom what it's like to live in a body that is battling multiple chronic illnesses and disabilities, but for myself and many others, it's a very sobering and painful reality. Somedays I break into tears; overwhelmed with these ongoing battles, in a war with my body ... a war in which I ponder the possibility of being victorious. My significant other will look at me and ask what's the matter. The question almost feels comical now. I can't even begin to put all of my pain, sadness, frustration, and even anger, into words. Plus, I am so beyond tired of answering that question ... trying to explain why I feel the way I do, and why I rarely get a break of feeling good. To put it simply; it is all beyond frustrating. At times, I want to scream: "I don't enjoy being sick and I don't want to be sick! I want to be normal, healthy, energetic, and I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to everybody!" I guess sometimes it's good to scream and let it all out. The little girl inside of me wants to show everybody that I could be as talented and successful as everyone always anticipated I would be one day. She angrily wants everyone to know that she's just as disappointed in herself and the situation, and beats herself up enough for everybody ... and therefore, doesn't need the guilt, the judgement, the criticism, and lack of understanding. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Arial; margin-bottom: 14px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Yes, contrary to this post, I really do try to be positive ... I swear I do! I guess I just needed to vent ... and let others know that they are not alone in feeling these emotions revolving around chronic health problems. I hear it a lot: Friends, family, and even medical professionals, lacking a general understanding and placing a lot of judgement onto those with a chronic illness. It seems so unfair to me, as most of those I've met who struggle with some kind of illness, well, they already feel terrible, and they want so badly to be like everybody else; to be active, energetic, feel good, focus their energy on life and not survival. I've also found that a large number of those with illness are or were overachievers and perfectionists, and that not being able to do it all, and do it all to perfection, is maddening and heartbreaking, among a few other adjectives! </span></span></div><div style="color: #444444; font: 14.0px Arial; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 14.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">I don't wish any chronic illness or disability upon anybody. It's not fun and it's not a way of getting out of doing this or that and being "lazy!" One thing that certainly makes living with any chronic illness a bit easier is having understanding, validation and less judgement, from those in one's life. I've mentioned the document called "</span><a href="http://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">The Spoon Theory</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">" in the past, but considering the subject matter of this post, I wanted to make mention of it again for anyone who can relate to what I've just discussed. The concept of The Spoon Theory highlights, in simple and relatable terms, what it's like to have a chronic illness. It's both great for validation if you struggle with a chronic illness yourself, as well as better describing what it feels like to have a chronic illness to others who generally don't and can't understand. If you've never read the piece before, I would encourage you to take a peek now! </span></span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-64207769289389415662011-09-23T18:26:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:16:18.742-08:0030 Things About Me in Honor of Invisible Illness Week!<div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">1. The illness I live with is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Psoriatic Arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's, PCOS, Spondylolisthesis in my low back and neck, Degeneration and OsteoArthritis above my spine fusion & neuropathy/permanent nerve damage in feet. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I was diagnosed with my spine condition, Spondylolisthesis, in 1996. I was just diagnosed with the auto immune diseases, PsA & AS on April 11th 2011. I was previously diagnosed with the others in 2002 & 2007. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">3. But I had symptoms since:</span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I began experiencing severe pain and nerve related issues involving my back going as far back as 1991. I started to see symptoms of the auto immune diseases appear in 2006/2007. Same for the PCOS. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:</span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">With both of the major health conditions (Spondylolisthesis & PsA/AS, and all things that came with them) the biggest adjustments I had to make was learning how to live a bit slower, not feel guilty about how I felt and being unable to do everything I wanted and others expected of me (teaching myself boundaries & how to say no), and finding balance within life with these conditions & the "new" body in which I now reside. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">5. Most people assume:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Most people assume that I am healthy and simply lazy. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">6. The hardest part about mornings are:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"> Getting out of bed & "getting going" takes me a long time. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">7. My favorite medical TV show is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Mystery Diagnosis. It helped me learn how to advocate for myself and continue seeking the answers to my symptoms. It also gave me inspiration, encouragement, and a feeling of no longer being alone in my battle with my body & the medical system. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">My MacBook. I'm typing on it now! :) It's given me an outlet for my experiences and pain, connected me with people I likely would never had met, along with giving me back a feeling of productivity, success, and purpose. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">9. The hardest part about nights are:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Knowing I have to start it all over again the next morning after it took so long the day before to get it together. Aside from that, I love the night. It's when I feel the best and am most productive. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">10. Each day I take _ pills & vitamins:</span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">8 different pills & at least 5 different vitamins ... I should be taking more! </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">11. Regarding alternative treatments I:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I find a lot of help within the arena of alternative medicine and I could not function without it! My favorites are Soma Body Work & Reiki Energy Work. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I chose neither. I would LOVE to be healthy, feel good everyday and have the energy I used to! </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">13. Regarding working and career:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I have a lot of anger, frustration, sadness, anxiety and fear around this subject. I wanted to do so much - and still do - but I am not at all where I wanted to be, nor anticipated I would be, as a direct result of my health issues. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I wish I had my graduate degree, but I am happy I at least accomplished my Bachelors at this point. I still hope to go back to school so that I may get my PsyD or JD ... or preferably, both! </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I have many loves, a lot of experience in several fields (mainly personal life experience - including western & eastern medicine), and I believe a number of talents. My education has been in the direction of psychology and counseling, although I did dabble a tiny bit in law/political science as well, which included an internship as a Criminal Investigator. I have a counselor's license and worked briefly at a Chemical Dependency Center with children and teens, but became ill not too far after graduating from college and beginning this work. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">In addition, I have a natural inclination towards the arts, design and writing ... really anything creative. In 2009 I got online and started blogging. I had began to consider the idea of writing a book about my life only a few years earlier, and blogging really helped to shape a new direction and purpose for my life as it is now. I have been able to utilize my formal education, my ongoing research around everything health and illness, my personal experiences with chronic illness, my natural abilities and inclinations as a counselor and overall sensitive/intuitive spirit, and my need and general talent for beauty & art. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">While I do not professionally work today, I am making strides towards something much larger in regards to sharing my crazy painful journey with the masses ... or anyone willing to listen! :) </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">14. People would be surprised to know:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I played many sports as a child and loved them! I wish I could still play but my body doesn't allow for it ... especially my "flipper foot." </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">There have been a number of things, but two are at the top of my list. The first is knowing that I may never get to have a biological baby of my own. This one is extremely painful, and again, I am working on dealing with it today. The second is accepting that my career and my life as a young person was not, and is not, at all what I wanted, hoped for, and expected. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Find some greater purpose for all the pain & struggle I've endured and turning my chronic health problems into something amazing ... Not quite there, but I've made huge strides and will continue to do so to the best of my ability. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">17. The commercials about my illness:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I think there's one with a golf player for Psoriatic Arthritis? And of course there are a number of Fibromyalgia related ones. Aside from that, I can't think of any. And I would sh*t in my pants if I saw one about my spine condition!</span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Being able to work, go to school, take care of myself, and clean my home/run errands, etc., all in the same day. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">19. It was really hard to have to give up:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">My perfectionism. I need cleanliness and organization in most areas of my life, but as a result of my illnesses and their subsequent symptoms, I do not have the energy and capability to do many of the things like I used to. It was really hard to let go and no longer allow it to bother me. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Blogging, Facebook & website/blog design ... all of which were directly influenced by my illness. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Do an amazing workout; clean my house, car, even my purse, from top to bottom; go shopping; snowboard & go on a long motorcycle ride with my significant other; run as fast as I can; do cartwheels; play a soccer game; spend quality time doing activities with my family out in the big bad world; then go dancing at a club/bar with friends until the wee hours of the morning. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">22. My illness has taught me:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">My illness has taught me that life is not fair but there can be a wonderful set of life lessons and some beautiful purpose if you're willing and open to it. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I have two .. sorry. "So, when do you think you're going to finally feel better?" ... When people ask "How do you feel?" .. then, when you answer, they follow it up by asking "Well, why do you feel that way?" ... as if they have not been listening for the past 5 years or more! - doctors included. It's mind blowing. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">24. But I love it when people:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Read my writing and give me encouragement, inspiration, motivation and praise ... makes me feel like I'm worth something and that I'm not a complete failure. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:</span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">"Foot Prints in the Sand" - I read this poem every single day for four plus month after my surgeries while recovering in my body cast and flat on my back. It still gives me hope and makes me cry to this day. </span></span></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 536px;"><tbody>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 18.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 21.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="bottom"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">'One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">other times there were one set of footprints.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">This bothered me because I noticed</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">that during the low periods of my life,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">when I was suffering from</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">anguish, sorrow or defeat,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">I could see only one set of footprints.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">So I said to the Lord,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">"You promised me Lord,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">that if I followed you,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">you would walk with me always.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">But I have noticed that during</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">the most trying periods of my life</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">there have only be one</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">set of footprints in the sand.</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">Why, when I needed you most,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">you have not been there for me?"</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">The Lord replied,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">"The times when you have</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">seen only one set of footprints,</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">is when I carried you."'</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="height: 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 15.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></i></span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Perpetua; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;">by Mary Stevenson</i></span></div></td> </tr>
<tr> <td style="padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px; width: 536.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Comic Sans MS'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Lucida Sans';"><i style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</i></span></div></td> </tr>
</tbody> </table><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">To continue advocating for themselves and never doubt their intuitions. Try to find balance and not overdo things. Focus on taking care of yourself and do your very best to let go of any guilt around doing so. Learn to say no and be okay with it. Seek out others who can truly relate and have compassion & empathy, as it's so important that you feel someone understands and respects you and your new circumstance. Find something you love doing that does not deplete too much of your energy, but can distract you. Try to find humor in things ... life becomes too serious and overwhelming, and it's easy to drowned when you're chronically ill. Support & compassion are key in my opinion. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">How little doctor's actually know. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">I can think of several examples, but some of the more simple things which have been done for me when I'm feeling really icky include: my mom sending me "kitty cards" in the mail to make me smile; my fiancee warming up the down comforter in the dryer then wrapping me up & arranging the pillows so I'm cocooned; my mom running to the grocery store, pharmacy and health store for my "supplies"; my fiancee giving me feet, neck & back rubs when everything aches so terribly; my sister sending me loving text messages to tell me she loves me, is thinking of me and hoping I feel better; my dad making sure that I have money to pay for my Soma Body Work massages ... I can think of many more, but I will stop there. I am truly blessed with awesome people in my family/life & I couldn't survive without them, their support, help and ongoing understanding & love! </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">29. I’m involved with </span></span><a href="http://www.invisibleillnessweek.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">Invisible Illness Week</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> because:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Because chronic illness - especially invisible chronic illness - is hard to understand unless you experience it yourself, it's so important for those who do battle some kind of chronic health problem to connect with one another and provide their mutual support. I just wish I knew it was "Invisible Illness Week" a week ago! LOL ... Better late than never I suppose! And hey, I'm used to being late these days anyways! I wouldn't be me if I weren't late! People would be shocked and confused, and I can't let them down! LOL. </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"> </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">A little less invisible. Thank you!!! </span></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 18.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Times; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS';">Blessings of health, energy & peace, Cat</span></span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-36065252379591421042011-09-01T01:49:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:16:18.744-08:00The Battle to Regain LIFE<div style="color: #333333; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">The last 4 plus years of my life have been saturated by a nasty struggle with my health, and the subsequent illnesses, which at times, consume my body, mind and life. I have "good" days, and I have "bad" days, although unfortunately the majority reside in the latter category. As a result of my ongoing challeng</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">es with chronic illness, my life has not been anything close to what I hoped for, anticipated, dreamed of, envisioned, nor planned. I know (and believe - at least most days) that my experiences have a greater purpose and are continuing to shape me and my future successes, and hopefully, my ability to help others, and even heal myself. Still, this attempt at a positive outlook does not make me immune from a deep sadness and anger associated with missing so much of my life as a young person in their twenties, and soon, early thirties. In fact, the best way I can describe feelings related to this piece of my journey thus far, is simply that I've felt frozen, and that life has been passing me by at tremendous speeds while I watch passively through a double paned window. I believe that a part of this "frozen" feeling is directly related to the fact I did not have any answers for my worsening health state for many years.</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I've seen countless doctors since the age of 25 - which is another story in and of itself - but was only finally diagnosed with two auto immune diseases on April 11th of this year. It took another 4/5 months to obtain coverage for one of the medications I will need to help stop the disease progression in my body. I have yet to begin the injections, but hope to do so next week in fact. I am both excited and terrified. Excited for the obvious reasons: That I may actually begin to feel better again, .. to feel human and reclaim my life! I also feel scared and anxious. Why? Because even while I am trying to be as positive as possible, I still have a fear in the back of my mind, .. the question which looms large: What if it DOESN'T work? And then what? I am TRYING not to go there unless I need to cross that bridge, but I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said I didn't feel this way.</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">When my many symptoms began to present themselves back in late 2006, I was in a pretty good place in most realms of my life. I was proud of my accomplishments, felt successful in many departments, was excited about what my future held, and truly had a passion for everything in my life. At that point in time I had graduated with a BA in psychology, obtained my counselor's license, began working as an Intervention Prevention Specialist Counselor with children (yes, a long title, I know, .. but not nearly as glamorous and complicated as it sounds!), and was applying for graduate programs to get my JD. I was also financially stable, and while not wealthy by a long stretch, did have nice things and certainly didn't want or need for anything. I was also beginning to plan my future family, as aside from the matters involving my back condition and a pregnancy which would have been constricted to bed rest, having babies was not out of the question and very much expected and desired (the latter still is, but now the dream has all but faded away as a possibility, let alone an expectation). In addition to these and other positive aspects of my life, I had support and strength in several wonderfully loving and loyal (or so I thought) friends and family. It's funny how those you believe will never abandoned you - no matter the circumstance - so easily evaporate into thin air when your life no longer resembles the perfect picture you once held so dear.</span></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">When a person loses their health and goes to war with their own body, it's no stretch of the truth to state that everything else is directly affected as well. It's like a game of dominos. Sooner rather than later each piece is knocked down; financially, emotionally, spiritually, etc. For the last few years my life has literally consisted of just surviving. Rebuilding my life, my hopes, dreams and future, are all sitting on the back burner right now, as I cannot truly live, only focus on surviving, until I witness healing for my body. I am fairly confident that these continuing struggles and experiences are a foundation for something pretty awesome some day ... and some day soon I hope. As a direct result of my situation, I have spent the past few years doing A LOT of research within the medical field, and in doing so, have truly taught myself how to be an advocate (and now I'm known as "Dr. Brenna" within my family and close group of friends, lol). Using my education and work experience within the fields of psychology, counseling, and even a few healing modalities, I realized that by sharing my experiences and knowledge through writing, these past few years may not be such a sad waste after all. My hope and goal is that it may become something amazing for both myself (and ultimately my own healing on several levels), as well as a way to reach others and touch their lives .. specifically those who face similar struggles. With all that said, I have created a few blogs which focus on these exact subjects, and am presently working on designing my own website and blog which may encompass all of my writing, research, and compiled knowledge.</span></span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-63212639514737395602011-08-30T02:54:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:16:18.746-08:00Just Surviving with Chronic Illness ... Lessons of Balance & So Much More<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">One of the bigger lessons I have been taught repeatedly while dealing with chronic illness is simple enough; it's a funny thing we call balance. Learning how to NOT overdo things when I do have the energy to accomplish everyday tasks and life's more complex challenges alike. And it's something which is so much easier said than done. Such anxious and frenzied rushes to "get things done," are specifically in attempts to make up for the wasted time which has gotten away from me, and that time slides away with great speed and ease, much like sand sifting through an hour glass, picking up speed with every passing moment. So much time and pure "life" feels wasted, robbed, and sadly forgotten, for lack of better words, during those all too common and frequent periods when I feel so horrible. This lesson has not been an easy one. It sounds so simplistic, yet for me, for whatever reason, it is so very complicated and a huge challenge. It's frustrating for sure ... it's even overwhelming at times. It seems as though every aspect of my life is fraught with this battle, and I cannot begin describe how very disheartening it can be. Even when it comes to writing, blogging and working on my websites, all things I love to do and bring me some sense of normalcy, success and productivity, I am faced with this ever present battle and I'm getting so very tired of it! Can you hear my pure and obvious irritation?!? LOL ... Yes, I believe I've thoroughly expressed it. And, I am fairly certain that you can relate to this internal tug of war as well. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Plain and simple, I have been experiencing writer's block recently. And, while my life, and all of the battles within my war with the medical system, my body, my life and my health, continue marching forward, I feel even more frozen than usual. I feel this strange, and albeit, an unsettling combination of sensations where I have so much to say, so much to share, but no words to properly and completely express my many emotions and experiences. I want so desperately to use my life, and all of the things I have endured as a result of my health struggles, to be both a means of finding some sort of healing for my mind, body and spirit, as well as a vehicle to reach that ever elusive feeling of success, self satisfaction, and a greater life's purpose. While I am both encouraged and strengthened to see and hear so many other's stories similar in nature to mine, in some strange twist, I feel more defeated, unneeded, and no longer unique and special in what I have to contribute to this world. A strange jealousy factor without a doubt. One of which I feel guilt and confusion too.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">You can feel so alone when you're chronically ill, especially when you're so young. As a way of finding some hope and understanding, reaching out to others whom also find themselves similar circumstances, can be both empowering, in addition to ushering in some relief from that ever-present sense of loneliness. But still, even with the smaller victories, those "good days," the brief glimpses at the smallest peak of light near the end of the dark tunnel, even with the occasional cheerleader found in the most unexpected person, place and time, the sadness and uncomfortable silence is palpable. I guess one could say that I've been feeling somewhat depressed as of late. A state of mind and being which I am not one to admit so quickly. Perhaps I'd rather tell myself something different than what my inner self truly feels. Whether it's a way of remaining positive - a fake it til you make it type of thing. Or more simple in terms and listed as basic denial. Maybe it's more likely something of a combo platter. I am not entirely sure. What I do know is that it's a sense of melancholy and fear which I cannot seem to put my finger on. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">We all need something to look forward to, some excitement and joy in our lives, and when reviewing the last few years, I can securely state that the much needed sense of happiness, peace, excitement and/or thrill for life has been lacking in my world of simply surviving. Some days that "simply surviving" mind set is enough to consume me. I don't want that to be the case, nor do I look to make it happen, but it does exist. I find myself unable to look forward, maybe because I am still stuck wadding through my past. I try to just be in the moment, just make it through, making a conscious effort not to dwell on all that's been lost to the days gone, but also unwilling to gaze into the future, as I find myself overwhelmed by too many emotions to count. Other days, perhaps even the ones where I feel a little better, I feel so lost and scared, wondering if my life will ever be more than just surviving to another day. I think anyone who loses so much so young can relate to that kind of desperation. At least I'd like to think so. Whomever created the saying "sick and tired of being sick and tired" was very brilliant, as I am beyond sick and tired. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">We do have a tremendous impact on our own health, our body, mind, spirit, attitude, future's, so much of our lives and even a bit of others' lives as well. And while we can attempt to steer in a certain direction, as a simple fact of life, we do not have control and power over everything, in fact, we seem to have only a little power and control over a few things ... the rest, left up to fate, destiny, random events of reactions for each action, and a great many other beliefs, concepts, and philosphoies. I apologize, my intention for this post was not to get too philosophical, although for whatever reason, I am tittering on the edge of that broad, questionable universe. Anyways, my point was to transition to the subject of dreams and how they are clearly intertwined with my ever-evolving nutty life and existence. For a while I stopped having dreams, if not simply because I asked for just that - not to dream - as it was just too much on top of everything else. Funny thing to say and hope for, huh? Recently I began dreaming in my slumber once again, and strangely it's only increased my sadness. Perhaps because I am dreaming of things I wish I had, things I feel slipped through my finger tops, things I once nearly had as a reality and lost with tremendous resistance, only to break my heart into tiny pieces for years to come. I often find myself thinking that when I'm better, when I feel normal, healthy, you know, like a normal human being again, I will be able to reach for those dreams, to heal those relationships, to have all I ever wanted, dreamed of (literally I suppose), and anticipated. Sometimes these visions bring me joy, promise, hope and inspiration, ... and then other days, it's quite the opposite, and I awake even more fearful, depressed, anxious and sad than before. I know dreams are said to be the mind and spirit's way of processing events and feelings in one's life, at least that's what I tend to believe. Some of those dreams feel so impossible now, so far away, so unlikely, and well, that only generates more sorrow to further envelope my already exhausted and lost being. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">This post was not created with the intention of being so solemn, but it certainly appears to have gone that path, doesn't it?!? As I've stated many times before, my hope for sharing my experiences and subsequent emotions here is with the desire to help others, to offer some hope, and even some true knowledge that if you're facing similar battles at this moment in time, you are not alone, even when it feels as though you are living in a deserted waste land of illness, loss, misunderstanding, hopelessness, and desperation for some real life. Not just a life where you are simply surviving to make it to the next day. I know my words, my attempts to touch others lives', is nothing close to that of a magical cure nor a fix for what you may be enduring at this very moment. I wish it was. I wish I had a magic wand. </span></span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-29674886198181680092011-06-30T22:14:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:16:18.748-08:00What does it feel like to have an auto immune disease and chronic illness?<div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Having an auto immune disease feels like a gradual yet steady descent into a deep dark damp hole. Similar to that of depression, but not the same paradigm. As you begin to fall there are a few people that notice and try to reach out and grab you, but you are not able to hold on for very long, soon finger tips lose touch and the hole tightens its grasp. From this hole you have a hazy window to see life; where you get glimpses of all the things you once held so important. You watch it all pass you by, and with time gaining speed, you make attempts to climb out, but you simply exhaust your body even more. Sorrow, anger, and plain frustration, are common place ... and, after a time, you don't want to "explain" how you feel anymore. You don't have the energy, the desire, the will to get others to understand. Heck, you are in a daily struggle for your life, you cannot waste your precious fleeting energy on words; words that so frequently go unheard anyway.</span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">There are a few days - absolutely wonderful and overwhelming days - where you actually feel like a human again. Unsure of when to expect such a day, especially as the years roll by and your "bad days" outweigh your "good," you often awake with a better sense of your old self, like meeting someone that has been packed away and brought out for a special occasion. You seem to have little or no control over this person, or that of the obviously less desirable "sick person." All you know is that when this person, and this seemingly healthy body appears, you must take advantage of all it has to offer. I must say that this is a big pitfall in the world of a person living with an auto immune disease. Especially true for someone whom is dealing with a very active period (better known, and often referred to as a "flare"), with no sign of a remission in sight. I say this because someone living with a chronic illness - an illness which involves itself in nearly every facet of one's life - is truly walking a tight rope. </span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">A "balancing act" is putting it mildly when looking at how to have a "normal," and semi active life, while struggling with such an illness. I cannot speak for other people living with the same or similar conditions, I can only speak for myself, but, I do believe that many would agree with me when I explain that "overdoing it" on a "good day" is a common occurrence. As a former perfectionist (former only because I could/can no longer physically deal with the pure energy perfectionism requires), a good day presents itself with so many "things" to do. So many things have been left undone, waiting for your attention, literally in every part/area of your life (from financial issues to personal relationships, and everything in-between), and when you have an opportunity to tackle the wide array of items that have been torturing you from afar, you try to get as much accomplished as possible before you drop from exhaustion. Unfortunately, because you are trying to put a few weeks of activity into a day or two, it is very easy to overdo it, which clearly creates imbalance, and is usually just too much for a less than stellar body.</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Plain and simple, when your body has been hijacked by some ridiculous condition, you cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, function at the 'average person's' level. You simply cannot get even the most basic things done in an entire day that would easily be accomplished by a healthy energetic person in an hour or less. You are lucky (and happy), to be able to get out of bed, take care of your own hygiene, feed yourself (if you can stomach food or even have an appetite) and make a good attempt at contacting the "outside world." </span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">To some, perhaps many, individuals like this appear lazy, and are very frequently labeled as such. While putting myself in these outsiders' shoes, I can completely relate to how one might view such a person, as no one truly "gets it" until it touches their own lives in an intimate manner. And, even when something of this nature is in your life everyday (say you are living with a loved one whom is experiencing the grasp of a chronic illness), you still don't really get to a level of complete understanding and true empathy.</span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I get it, it's hard to understand. It's difficult to grasp, and then deal with it on an everyday basis. Having compassion on a constant basis is a strain on the other party as well. Trust me, if you are that other person in the equation, we know that you want to scream, pull your hair out, and tell us to just get better, dammit! And trust me, there is nothing more in this world that anyone with a chronic condition wants than to just BE NORMAL AND HEALTHY. It's not fun, it's not comfortable, it's not what "life" should be, nor is it what we want.</span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">After you are asked repeatedly how you are doing, how you are feeling, ... as well as things more sarcastic, like, so ... when are you going to feel better? - even while many questions are simply out of love, respect and concern - it becomes harder and harder to answer, or even speak to at all, as the answer feels like it will never change. And I do believe that many people become fearful that perhaps it won't. At least this has become a very real fear for myself. I think too, that because such an all encompassing health related condition can feel as if it has saturated your life (and often it does), it absorbs a lot of one's being and fills the many corners of the person's existence, even when it is actively resisted. This leaves the disease in control, and it very quickly and easily begins to feel like you are the disease ... that it is the only thing that defines you. This is a tough place to be, and again, you find yourself trying to partake in a balancing act.</span></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="color: #f2cca1; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As for this very moment, I need to take a deep breath and take a break. I am trying to teach myself better ways to cope. Not to overdo everything when I get that special day when the old me is a resident in this very alien body. I'll let you know the results. Thank goodness that the perfectionist is simply unable to function, as she would have lost it a long time ago!</span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-51253206679696224242011-06-30T21:43:00.000-07:002012-01-12T21:52:49.405-08:00Chronic Pain Anyone?<div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Chronic pain. The phrase, or rather, state of being, makes many of us cringe with great discomfort and resistance from the get go ... but unfortunately, so many of us deal with it every single day of our lives. It makes daily functioning - everyday activities - extremely challenging, and affects many, if not all areas of our lives. Those who battle chronic pain know just how much it can affect energy levels, attitudes, mental and emotional states, along with our general interactions and behaviors in our world. It is always on our minds, sometimes so much so that we cannot sleep, participate in activities, even eat. Chronic pain literally drains us; depleting our energy levels so much so that it is a struggle to get out of bed some days. And, once we open our eyes and make that first movement to get out of bed, we are faced with the challenge of "getting going," so to speak. We quickly and easily become exhausted from dealing with the pain which emanates throughout our bodies, and for some (myself included), the pain is so great that it feels as though one's body has been hit by a mack truck during those hours of sleep. Depending upon the cause and source of the pain - which may be experienced in a variety of ways - one thing seems to remain consistent: It is a daily struggle which is always present, creeping into every aspect of our lives. </span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 19px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Pain is our body's way of telling us that something is not right within one of our many body systems. It is meant to alert us to a problem, and in turn, we are suppose to either "fix it," or stop the action/behavior which is causing the pain. But, when we are faced with a permanent health problem/condition/illness that results in continuous pain (and therefore, the problem is not fully corrected), we have to seek out different ways of "solving" our pain problem. So many of the "solutions" for chronic pain, provided by the medical community, are more or less "band-aide" fixes. Of course, there is the popular "medication fix," which does not truly address the problem, although for those that have too much pain to deal with life, it is often a necessary evil. On the positive side, medication may assist in decreasing pain levels, resulting in the body conserving and directing more energy towards healing the core problem(s). Surgeries, and other medical procedures, are common place for western medicine providers as a means to solving pain related conditions. But, I must say, that in my experience many of these "solutions" only lead to more problems, rather than fixing the underlying issues. And, I fear that there are a few too many doctors out there whom are a bit too excited to jump to the surgery route, but, that is just my humble opinion, not a fact. Of course there are situations that require surgical interventions in order to save a person's life, and I understand this as well, as I faced a similar dilemma. In my personal situation, while my operations and procedures promised not only to save my life (which they did), and reduce the pain (to a good degree for several years), the outcome was far from what was suggested or anticipated, and to be frank, my pain remains a life long struggle. When an individual does require surgery, more often than not there remains a mix of ongoing and unpredictable problems as both a direct and indirect result. It's typical, at least in my experience, that many doctors and healthcare providers often bill a given procedure or surgery as a complete fix; a fix that promises a solution to the given condition, end of story. All of us dealing with chronic pain - whether it arose from a spine condition, injury, illness, or any other countless health condition - know the truth. And the truth being: That there is no true "fix." No matter how grand, no matter how praised the procedure, or skilled a physician, there is no simple, quick or perfect answer to the pain problem. So many people want to believe in that fairy tale. And it is understandable, as we hate to see our loved one's in pain and suffering firsthand is not a joy either, especially if it is a long term and daily experience. It seems unending, and honestly, much of the time, it is. </span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 19px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Medical science has come a long way in a short period of time. That much is true. But, for all of you fellow chronic pain sufferers - those whom battle chronic ailments and diseases like cancer, auto immune diseases, spinal conditions, transplants, severe infections, and so much more - know that no matter how spectacular the presented solution appears, there is no band-aide which truly sticks. This is why I have believe it is so important for those who suffer with chronic pain to share our stories and provide each other support, empathy and compassion. While there are many causes for our pain, we all deal with similar struggles, face the same challenges, battle the same attitudes, navigative the same painfully broken medical system, and fight for a sense of normalcy with everyday that passes. I hope that anyone and everyone who deals with chronic pain may feel that they can share their stories, their tears, their anger, and their accumulated knowledge & experience on this page. I hope that we can provide each other some support, resources, and the "do's and don't's," all in the name of decreasing the pain. </span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 19px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Chronic pain sufferers are the only ones who can truly empathize and hear other chronic pain sufferers. The same sort of rule is witnessed with both chronic illness and other serious long term health conditions. It is a struggle to get others in your life to really "get it." I find that while they try to understand, try to sympathize and be compassionate, it is nearly impossible for them to understand the full magnitude of chronic pain when they are not in it everyday, every minute, like we are. I know that many of us try to remain quiet about our pain, not to bother our significant others or family and friends. And that as a general rule, we try to avoid sounding like we are "complaining." And we are not complainers. We are usually survivors ... courageous survivors at that, and all of whom endure far more than anyone should ever have to deal with in a lifetime. It becomes beyond frustrating to get others to truly understand that we do not enjoy being in pain, nor do we enjoy having the same answer to the question, "how are you feeling?" This struggle often interferes with, and strains relationships and friendships. It can make us doubt ourselves, our bodies, our minds, and can result in an internal, and seemingly hopeless battle of anger, frustration, and sadness. </span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 19px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I believe that this issue is similar to the struggle so many of us face with doctors, and convincing them how we feel in our own bodies. We know ourselves better than anyone else. Yes, even better than the "god like," "know it all" doctors, whom often try to tell us we are crazy or depressed when they can't find an answer to our pain and constellation of symptoms. It is an easy train to jump on, not to mention a frequently travelled train ... It allows the doctor to appear competent when they doubt themselves (which they rarely admit to), and with their authority and status, we begin to doubt ourselves, believing that our pain is not real, or that we are crazy, selfish, and/or attention seekers. It happens so often that we begin to ignore our best advocate; our intuition. When we are ill, dealing with so much pain, facing daily fatigue, and literally struggling to get through the day, we have little energy left to battle doctors, question their authority and push for help. I have experienced this first hand more than once, and it nearly resulted in my death, and ultimately changed my life forever. I would like to note that I do not dislike all doctors, and do promote visiting a provider(s) whenever your health requires. But, I want to emphasize how important it is to listen to your own voice, trust your gut, and not buy into the idea that the doctors know all and should not be questioned. From both my own personal experience, and from observing and listening to other's, I have seen a pattern that seems to occur far too often, one which I find frightening. </span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 19px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div></div><div style="color: #f9cb9c; font: normal normal normal 18px/normal Garamond; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I will post blogs to this page that describe various personal experiences in the "field of pain"... situations, stories, experiences, and interactions, that others that would likely not fully or truly understand, unless they too have been in the throws of chronic pain. I will also add my findings when it comes to what has worked for my pain, and what hasn't cut it. Two treatments/practices already mentioned in the blog include Soma Body Massage Work and Reiki Energy Work. You may read more about the practices themselves, as well as how they have helped relieve my pain. There are additional website links provided which are related to sites which further detail the practices and where you may find providers in your area. If you have any questions about said practices, please don't hesitate to contact me! Also, please add your own suggestions, as we can never have too many ideas and suggestions for the relief of pain!!! My desire for this blog subject is simple: I hope that it may allow a dialogue to open between all of those whom experience chronic pain, so that we can share, support one another, listen and truly hear each others pain and struggles (because sometimes that's all we need, no judgement, no comments, or even suggestions, just someone that really knows how you feel and can therefore provide validation in your experiences). There are obviously a lot of different ailments, and with all these various conditions comes a variety of surgical procedures/options ... Some are more successful than others, some are "newer" and/or "experimental," and many can only be found at certain medical hospitals, universities, communities. If you have information regarding any procedure, providers, hospitals, etc., please provide any details that you may deem important and ultimately helpful to someone dealing with the same or similar situations. From my experience, given the level of patient privacy rules these days, it is often hard to get all the information you need, the nitty gritty of the details, what to expect, how a doctor performs (even personality), and all can help a fellow chronic pain patient find a good fit for their health care choices ... hopefully, making their future a bit better through knowledge that may allow them to avoid certain things, and ask certain questions.</span></div></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-57085226847665985332011-06-08T17:39:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:15:56.177-08:00Finally! Answers to my chronic illness ...<div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">It took over 4 years to get an answer, a diagnosis, or rather, diagnoses, for my auto immune conditions. After seeing one doctor after another, finally, on April 11, 2011, I found the doctor who would bring many of my puzzle pieces together, forever change my life, provide much needed answers, and finally, validation of my health battles and a direction for hope. I am told I have two sero-negative auto immune diseases: Psoriatic Arthritis and Ankylosing Spondylitis. Both help to explain a number of my symptoms and many years of suffering, although there remains a few question marks; symptoms which do not fit into the category for either disease. So, with that, my Rheumatologist has hinted and suggested that there's likely a third, although those answers are on hold for now. Getting these diagnoses was like a victory for myself, for my life, my body, and even for my past. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As a little girl I played many sports. Everything from volleyball, softball, tennis, gymnastics, dance, ice skating, and my most beloved, soccer. I was very active and loved being competitive. I felt great pride and accomplishment through both my own self and by way of other's reactions to my achievements in this arena. I also desperately wanted to please everyone, adults in particular. I was raised within a society which told young people not to question authority, not to doubt the opinions, beliefs and statements of your parents, teachers, and of course, the doctors. Some kids seek attention by doing negative things, I wanted the opposite; attention and praise for the positive things, and I sought it out as often as possible. So, of course as a young child and teenager the last thing I wanted was to disappoint someone, especially the adults. I wanted to make them proud and happy, not ashamed and angry. Being an overly sensitive person only increased my reactions to things, and I clung to every word, hand gesture, even facial expression, worrying constantly that I have done something wrong to make another mad, disappointed or upset in some way. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">When the pain started in my low back I was only 9 years old. I had yet to go through puberty and didn't have a full understanding and ability to recognize my body, but one thing I did know for certain: I was in pain and a lot of it. At first it came intermittedly, brought on or aggravated by more aggressive activities and sports, but I didn't pay it much attention and left it at that. As the pain and overall discomfort grew worse I was unsure if this was simply how everyone else felt in their body, and while I did say I was in pain, I only did so rarely and quietly, as not to upset or worry anyone. As time passed the pain became to much to bare when it came to playing sports, the last to go was volleyball. I remember the last day I played the game in fact .. I was good at it and the team looked to me to be a good player, and that day's pain was beyond horrific. I had to leave half way through and didn't live up to my typical abilities. My parents, especially my father, didn't understand why I needed to stop, and frankly, I wasn't sure why either, I just knew I was in great distress. Just like the rest, I gave up the game of Volleyball, with many thinking I was being lazy, or at least that's what I perceieved, especially since my doctor's had repeatedly said I was fine after each visit I came and complained of pain. Turns out those doctor's knew exactly why I was in pain, but didn't do anything about it ... although one later wrote in her notes that she was surprised I was still able to walk due to my extreme condition of Spondylolisthesis ... yet not one word of confirmation of my pain and complaint. I still wonder if that doctor simply hated me, as why would anyone with half of a heart allow a child to continue forward without any help knowing the severe and probable consquences of my condition? I can't answer that question. I don't think I will ever know, but it's always remained in the back of my mind, and in the pit of my stomach. She later went back and revised my records to make herself not appear at fault ... simply to save her own ass. The other doctor's made my x-rays, three years worth, vanish into thin air .. leaving no record, no footprint of me and the progression of my life altering condition. Both doctors got away unscalthed, able to continue practicing medicine. Sickening. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
</span> </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As a child I didn't have a voice. I had my intution, which told me something was very wrong, but I didn't have the right words, the strength, the power to continue speaking up and fighting for my body. You do not question doctors ... at least that's the general belief and unspoken rule. And as a child, you are dually gagged, as they are both an authority figure and experts, how dare one question them when you're simply a child? You don't. Instead of continuing to voice my struggles, pain and tremendous growing discomfort, I wanted to please everybody, not create any problems, ... so I stopped; ultimately, I shut up. As a result I literally witnessed the edge of a cliff, coming close to falling off. And, while I didn't fall off, .. while I'm alive and still walking, my life was forever changed in so many permanent and not so wonderful ways. As an adult I was not going to allow this same scenerio happen again. I was not going to give up or shut up, and I vowed to continue listening to my body and stating the problems, even while people were annoyed and questioned my sanity. Yes, a lonely and long road to travel indeed, but I did it, and as a result, I won a big victory for that little girl inside of me who had no voice. Perhaps my past experience was a set up and a needed lesson in order to navigate this more recent struggle ... I am not sure. Although, I must say, that had it not been for that little girl, the pain, the suffering, the battle I nearly lost, I am not so sure I would have been so persistent this time around. </span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-74868153890636487442011-06-08T17:20:00.000-07:002012-01-12T22:15:48.382-08:00Another day, another doctor ...<div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Another day, Another doctor ...</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">A few years back a nurse from my primary care's office said something that struck a cord with me, .. something that a patient may have very easily taken as an insult, but for myself it actually brought clarity and perspective to my life, more specifically the life I have been living these past 5 years or so, .. although, one could argue the concept fits me and my life going as far back as my preteens. What did she say to me you ask? She said that I was a "career patient," a term which I had never heard or considered before, but something which rang so true. It also followed along the same lines as another comment made by my mother a number of times over these last few very challenging and painful years. Let me back track and say that this time spent seeking help, answers, a diagnosis, and finally, treatment, has been very hard on me, both physically and emotionally. One could also easily say that it's been a battle financially and spiritually too, as it seems one only affects the other, just as our body's systems and conditions affect each other, like the game of dominos. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">For the majority of these years I have felt many emotions, spent many frustrating days enveloped in a nagging desperation that the so-called best years of my life, the time in our twenties which is supposed to be racked with happiness, new experiences, success, ultimately the building blocks (or years) of our lives, has been all but wasted being ill .. waiting to get answers, waiting to feel better, waiting for treatment and improvement, all so I can get back to living my life as normally as possible. Many weights were lifted from my shoulders, my heart, and my very being, the day I received my first auto immune diagnoses. Aside from the obvious, one additional weight lifted was the idea and belief that so many of my good years had been taken away from me, wasted, robbed, down the drain with no chance of recovery, and certainly no opportunity to press the rewind button. My mom's statement to me has been repeated over these last few years, but I was not able to accept it and truly appreciate it, .. really be okay with what has been occurring (and what hasn't) as a result of my chronic illnesses, until I allowed myself to see the whole picture, diagnoses in hand. My mom said that this experience, just like with life, has been a true education, one on a doctorate level, and that I had all but earned myself a Ph.D as a result of my ongoing struggles. This idea gave me relief, a sense of peace that I haven't felt in some time, a calm which allowed me to let go of the idea that this time spent being sick, unable to do so many of the things I longed and hoped for, dreamt of, and expected for my life, wasn't for nothing, and that it was a very large, expensive and multi-faceted education which will serve me well in the present and the future. I even hope that as things come full circle, that it may help in the healing of my past, which remains a painful and tender subject with too many layers to count. So, here I am; a career patient. A career patient with an extraordinary graduate degree in life with so much more to learn, but so many more lessons to share. And, one thing I know which brings me much comfort, I am not alone, even while I am unique, rarely fit in "the box," and always seem to fall upon the more unusual, more rare circumstances, conditions, diagnoses, and so on, within every department imaginable it seems. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I am not sure why all of this trauma has happened to me, to my body, to my life .. and yes, while I don't want to throw a pity party and allow it to be my entire life and all of me, I do find it unfair, sad, and lonely. I have always tried to be an honest person, a real person, one with some integrity and compassion, sometimes too much so, and to a fault, and so, I prefer not to sugar coat things, to avoid apologizing for my life and my feelings. I am only human and I am not sure how else I can reach others if I am not just me. I am overly sensitive to things, overly sensitive to others, their feelings and heartbreak, and to how they react to me, so I can't say I don't care what others think and say, as that would be a lie, but, I am working on it ... working on letting go of other's judgments, opinions, beliefs and even criticisms about me and what I've experienced and endured in the life. Holding on to such things doesn't serve me in any positive manner and only generates negativity. This, I know, is yet another lesson for my doctorate degrees in life, and has been tested over and over by my journey with these chronic health conditions. As I have shared before, I believe we are our own best advocates, sometimes the only advocate for ourselves, and so trusting yourself, knowing your body and following your intuition, your gut, is so important, sick or not. </span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-81283591205750529672011-02-07T03:27:00.000-08:002012-01-12T22:10:30.866-08:00Approval for Social Security Disability benefits<div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=a00bef-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=B0024CF06Q&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe>The economy of both our own country, as well as countless other nations throughout the world, have been strained to a breaking point in the last few years. With this depressed state of being, and massive stress incurred, we witness a ripple affect within our communities, our government, along with the educational and medical systems, just to name a few. We have all been affected to some degree, whether it's radical and life altering, or on a lesser level, but, if you ask me, our society as a functioning unit has become quite the mess to behold and contend with. I would like to venture to make a simple comparison, and say that our present and recent past state of being, is similar to that of a necklace chain, a chain which was once untangled, shiny, and streamlined, but now is a knotted mess. Long story short, we have a lot of "untangling" to do so that we may once again wear that necklace. When one steps back and takes inventory of our countries' many "knotted necklaces," it's very clear that many of our systems do not work as well as we have long hoped, planned and envisioned. But, even with these many broken systems, we are doing our best to continue hobbling along. Our country has many resources which are unheard of in so many other nations, and while it's most certainly an uphill battle to obtain a larger number of these resources for survival during hard times, it is possible, and many of these resources are part of our rights as a citizen of this country. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">We are said to have one of the best judicial systems on the face of the earth, some of the best, most advanced healthcare which is sought out by many persons outside of the United States, and of course, the opportunity to "live the dream." While such subjects can very easily garner conversation and agruement for days upon end, there is one I'd like to focus on today: SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY. Just as when an individual goes to battle to obtain their rightful compensation for something like a car accident, getting an award for disability benefits can be equally, if not more challenging. As a general rule we each pay out certain funds throughout our lifetime to ensure our safety, future, and health. A basic example: We carry car insurance in order to protect our own interests. With each monthly payment, we have the expectation, that should we find ourselves in an accident (specifically no fault), that we will then be appropriately and fairly compensated. To me, this means that we should not have to fight tooth and nail to receive the amount of assistance required medically and property wise, to rectify the matter. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It seems, increasingly so, that "we," as a society in general, have to fight (and fight long and hard) to obtain the resources which we are already entitled to. This matter could not be more true when it comes to the question of gaining Social Security Disability. Most of us have heard the horror stories about applying, and trying to gain approval for, Social Security Disability, at one time or another. But, as a general rule, until it becomes your own reality, or that of someone close to you, you are not aware of the massive feeling of injustice and frustration which accompanies it. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I am so often saddened, disgusted, and completely confused, by the way our government so frequently treats those whom are disabled and/or ill. All too often those who find themselves in need of disability benefits are denied said benefits in the name of "saving money." As citizens of the USA, everyone who works and pays into the social security system relies on the concept that should they one day become ill or disabled, they will, at the very least, have some financial support to fall back on if they find themselves in a position of desperation due to health conditions which are not the result of their own desire, fault or hope. Now, let's not get confused, anyone and everyone should know that benefits alloted from our Social Security Department are not large in quantity by any stretch of the imagination, in fact, the majority of those who collect SSDI don't even receive enough money on an annual basis to push them above the poverty line. But, as we all know, some money is far better than no money. And, just as with unemployment benefits, we the people, pay into this system. Those who collect benefits are receiving money they made during their work history. It's not a free ride, and the total monthly benefits alloted to any given person is determined and based upon the person's former income, ultimately the amount they put into the system. And, that monthly amount is only a fraction of what was once a person's monthly income, not the equivelant. So, for anyone to say that these benefits are a "free ride," money the government and other tax payers are providing, are mistaken. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Most of those whom apply for disability are doing so out of great need. They are not doing it for fun, because they are lazy, or want to seek some easy way out of working. Individuals applying for disability are usually in a place of financial strain and desperation, and are more importantly, struggling with a serious illness, disability or other medical condition, which severely hampers their life and ability to function and survive. A large percentage of those whom apply for these benefits the first time around are denied. The second attempt may be more fruitful for some, but still, many receive a repeat letter of rejection. And, we can't forget that the process, in and of itself, takes many months, if not years, before that letter of denial is sent to the ill/disabled citizen waiting anxiously for it's arrival. Along the way, most of those in this long, drawn out process are barely scrapping by to make ends meet, all while facing mounting medical bills and a chronic state of illness. In our nation, within our society and it's many communities, we have a general pattern of waiting until things become very desperate before finally helping a person climb out of a deep hole. We build our cities this way and run our healthcare system in the same fashion. Instead of placing a higher value on people, we want to take all the short cuts, throw quality out the window, wait until things are horrible and falling apart, and then we "fix" them. And, ultimately, in these given situations, we have to put much more money into a problem than we would have incurred if we had only taken preventative measures in the first place and spent a little extra doe in doing it right. Is it greed? Is it the lack of patience? Probably. Do we ever learn from this pattern, a broken way of doing things which only seems to leave us in a more desperate place? Seems like the answer is all too often, no. So, while one person cannot change the world, this country, or the various systems we contend with, when the focus is smaller, working only on what we can each do as individuals in our own lives, we learn how to advocate for ourselves and make the system work for us. Learning how to advocate for ones self creates a shift in power and makes life a little easier, and a bit more fair, if you will. I am not claiming that this action and way of being is easy by any stretch of the imagination, but, it does assist in reducing the overall anxiety, feelings of failure, and stagnancy. It also serves to make a person who feels less than powerful, reclaim more control over their lives and their circumstances.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I am certainly not an expert in matters with Social Security and Disability benefits. I don't know all of the laws, loopholes, or answers for why it is so darn hard to get approved for these benefits, but I do know what I've learned along my journey and I would like nothing more than for my experience and understanding to help others who sit in similar struggles. I applied for Social Security Disability benefits in January 2009. I was ready to receive a negative response, a letter of denial, the first time around, and knew that I would likely need to hire an attorney. Just the thought of it made my blood boil. Tell me of one person who is chronically ill, or deals with a serious health condition, who has the energy and resources to fight the system! If you are applying for disability, it is pretty much a given that you are already exhausted, fragile physically, financially, and likely emotionally as well. And that feeling of being "beat down" seems to be pretty universal when it comes to such matters, and well, just as insurance adjusters know this of most of their clients, so do the officials deciding cases for such benefits. I thought to myself right off the bat, "do I have that fight in me? Could I go to war again with something else involving something so important in relation to my health, my future and my life?" I wasn't sure, but I did know that no matter what, I needed to take one step, one day, one problem at a time. Otherwise, I was surely going to crumble from the pressure, feeling of defeat, and sense of both hopelessness and powerlessness. It's hard to go to battle with anyone, especially a big system or corporation. But, if you don't learn to advocate for yourself, no one else will. You may not always get the answers you want, but, laying down and giving up certainly doesn't make the process any easier either. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">BELOW I have included some of my findings regarding HELPFUL HINTS in GETTING APPROVED for DISABILITY. They are not a guarantee for being awarded benefits, but most certainly can help, and perhaps make your process a little less stressful and mysterious. When all's said and done, it feels best knowing that you have tried and done everything to the best of your knowledge and ability ... leaving no stone unturned. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As an individual with a very lengthy medical history (one which is very complicated as well), I have found tremendous importance in making sure that I have all my records at my own disposal, even though my doctors, and the medical system itself, has them on file. It's your right as a patient to have all of your medical records, and as a general rule, whether you are ill, disabled, or seemingly healthy, you do yourself a great service to collect all past, present, and future medical records and keep them in your possession. Even while it's the responsibility of a medical system/practitioner to keep your records on file, you never know what could happen to said records, and you are much better off safe than sorry. Medical records have been known to "disappear," both via accident, and some through intentional, but illegal, disposal. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">To request and obtain your records you are required to fill out a medical records release form. You may contact your medical office's Medical Records Department by phone and fax, but you are better off actually visiting this department in person. If you have more than one medical provider, including specialists and other healthcare practitioners, you may need to fill out multiple release forms, especially if you have been seen at different hospitals and within more than one medical system. Make sure that you collect every piece of your medical record; including any scans, x-rays and test results. There is a section on the form where you check which records you are requesting, make sure to check all of the boxes, and if something is not listed/specified, make sure you check the "other" box and explain the record(s) you are seeking. Yes, you may be required to pay a small fee for some of your records (more specifically your actual physical scans like MRI's, CT's and x-rays), but, trust me, if you find yourself in a less than lovely situation in the future where you need those records and they have magically disappeared, it could mean the difference between a proper diagnosis, denial of benefits, or even a smaller settlement for a medical malpractice lawsuit. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Do yourself a big favor and create your own medical history file in your home or place of business. This is YOUR RIGHT as a patient. Your medical provider and/or insurance company cannot deny you access and copies to your medical records, and you do not have to disclose your purpose for requesting them, period. If you feel hesitant for any reason, simply mark your reason for request as "continuing medical care." This reason is never a lie, because as long as you are alive, you will always be receiving some form of ongoing medical care. Once you have copies of your medical records, review them and make sure that they contain your entire history. Never give these records away. If someone needs to view/copy any records, make sure you tell them that these records are your own personal copies and must be returned/not kept for use in any new files. Be careful with this matter, as with some medical offices, once you allow transfer of possession, even if you tell your doctor that these are your own personal copies, they can then be kept in their files and they will not release them back to you. I learned this the hard way. So, please ensure that any records you carry with you, are copied and returned to your file/possession that same day. No files left over night! </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">When it comes to applying for disability and submitting your case, you want to provide as many medical records as possible. Once you've applied for disability your case worker will request your medical records from various medical practitioners and departments. Do your best to follow up and ensure that they have access and information needed to obtain all of your medical records, as you don't want or need any records, doctors, diagnoses, treatments, and so forth, to be overlooked or not considered. Obviously, the larger degree of records you have, the more serious your condition(s) appears, which therefore, shows an overall greater need. Following along these lines, also remember to include all of your medical diagnoses when you first create your application. Including even those medical conditions/diagnoses you may feel are minor, non-important, or unrelated to your main concern and disability. Again, the more you have, the greater your need appears to those deciding your case. Yes, some of these conditions may very well not affect your life, disability, illness or overall functioning, but, you still have the diagnosis, and so, if you have them, use them to your advantage! </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">When it comes to applying for SSDI, speak with all of your medical providers beforehand, or at the start of the application process. Visit with, or contact any and all of the doctors, medical professionals and specialists who may be involved with your past, present and future care. Even if the medical professional only played a small part in your diagnosis and treatment, they may have additional and helpful information for your case. Just as with your number of medical records, the longer your list of healthcare providers (and more diverse), the greater the need and severity of any given illness/disability is presented. Request letters of explanation and referral from as many of these healthcare professionals as possible. Any letters on your behalf (more specifically letters which carry more compassion and factual information which detail how these conditions have negativity affected you and your life), even if they are short and simple, go a long way in developing a better case for obtaining approval. Letters from medical professionals are essential (do try to think out of the box too, as primary care doctors are important, but specialists and other healthcare professionals like therapists paint a more diverse picture of your struggle and general need), as they have the medical expertise required to punctuate your medical diagnosis outlined in records, and such explanations better put a face and life to the various black and white documentation. Also, letters on your behalf from individuals in your life outside of the medical arena are also helpful. Seek out as many people in your day to day life, both those within your family and extended friends, in addition to your co-workers, and request letters directed to the SSDI department as well. You can create a general outline of a letter and have each person either add to it, or simply sign it, or rather, they can start from scratch with their own. While such letters will speak to your illness and/or disability, they need not be as medically focused/centered as those provided from your doctors and other healthcare providers. Rather, these more personal letters are better suited in sharing actual observations and feelings. Have these selected friends and family write something on your behalf which explains what they've observed in relation to how you have affected by your health problems; what has changed in your life and how you may benefit from assistance with disability income. When I applied for SSDI I had a number of people write letters on my behalf and I strongly believe that it positively affected the decision of my case. </span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 18px/normal 'Bell MT'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I realize that the process of applying for disability is a long, stressful, frustrating, and all too often, a daunting task. I know that the points I have mentioned above may not be a guarantee for an easy case, but I do hope that by using these tips a few people may find their own application process a little less difficult, and perhaps even a bit shorter from start to finish. Just as with advocating for your own health and learning how to navigate the medical system, when it comes to seeking disability benefits, one of the best things a person can do for themselves is to research and acquire as much knowledge on the subject as possible. It most definitely can be a lot of work, and I understand all too well how much of a struggle this can be. When you are dealing with a chronic illness you have a limited amount of energy and it's a challenge to determine where to best use that energy at times. But, for myself, I have found that matters to do with disability benefits and medical related issues are areas which are to my benefit to spend my limited energy. I hope that if you are wading through the process of a disability application, that you do not give up, continue to fight, and always advocate for yourself. You deserve help and respect. These benefits are your right as a US citizen who has worked hard for x amount of years, and it's simply not acceptable for anyone to say otherwise. You are not alone, even though it may very well feel this way. </span><br />
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</span></div>Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14053233700562337075noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9160600851714389858.post-55576646818941958492009-03-01T22:58:00.000-08:002012-01-12T22:15:56.185-08:00Spondylolisthesis<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">Spondylolisthesis is a spinal condition in which one of the vertebra (usually the lower Lumbar region & Sacrum) slips forward from the vertebra below. Spondylo means spine, and the word listhesis, literally means to slip. While this condition is actually fairly common in general the population, it is rare for the condition to slip to a degree which is great enough to create problems. Physicians and the medical community label the varying degrees of slippage, from least to most severe, as grades 1 through 5. A complete slip, beyond that of a "grade 5," where the vertebra no longer sits on the respective vertebra below, is called Spondyloptosis. This condition can occur at any vertebra level, but is more commonly seen in the lumbar region of the spine. This is the area in which I experienced my Spondyloptosis. I am now considered a grade 5 Spondylolisthesis following a series of surgeries, procedures, a full body cast and extended therapies. My spine is fused from the S1 (Sacrum) through the L5 & L4 (Lumbar).</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">There are a number of debated "fixes" (surgeries/procedures) for Spondylolisthesis, but due to the infrequency of the condition becoming severe enough to require surgery, they are more experimental than common practice, in my opinion. I am not a doctor, nor am I an expert on this condition, that is, if you consider an "expert" as someone who has specialty credentials in the medical field. Rather, I am simply an individual whom has dealt with this condition first hand for my entire adult life, not to mention the majority of my juvenile years as well. My hope for this page on Spondylolisthesis is to utilize the power of the internet in order to reach as many individuals, in all age groups, who may be dealing with this condition in their life. Whether the condition is labeled at a grade 1, or a case more severe, I hope that my personal experience, insight, and research with regard to the spinal abnormality, may help as many individuals as possible. This condition tends to be less well known than other conditions and diseases, and due to this fact I found it difficult to connect with any fellow sufferer's during my painful, tough, and life altering struggle with this extremely painful condition since my initial diagnosis, I hope to create new dialog and connections within the orthopedic community. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">As I mentioned previously, there are several treatments for this condition, which are ultimately determined by the grade level found in any given patient. I believe that it is highly important for anyone whom faces decisions regarding this type of serious medical intervention be able to obtain as much information as possible prior to moving forward with any treatment plan. My recommendation is to thoroughly researching the condition itself, the various surgical and non-surgical options, statistical outcomes, possible side affects, and even the prospective physicians whom specialize in this very unique condition, as all of these components are essential when it comes to advocating for yourself as a patient with Spondylolisthesis. Not only are there several more commonly practiced surgical and medical procedures offered as treatment, but there are also a few alternative options that may work well from both an intervention standpoint in addition to that of preventative measures. The better bet is seeking a combination of treatments, which may result in a more rounded and promising future for a patient. Treatment is often determined by the severity, but even in the most severe cases, there are a few options that may not be presented or addressed by a provider, therefore limiting options, and resulting in a rush for the operating table. Now don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to surgical intervention, as my condition was very severe, and without immediate intervention, my overall quality of life would have been bleak, even fatal. I would also like to note, that like many surgeries, whether it be on your spine or your heart, surgical intervention may assist in increasing the overall quality of life, but it rarely, if ever, makes one "normal" again, nor "fixes" the health issues completely. This is a myth. There will always be a sort of "life long up-keep," which is required to assist in allowing your body to function in the best way possible, in a less than normal state. Again, this is my opinion, which is based simply upon my personal experiences, observations, and research. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">I hope that anyone who may be just learning of this condition (parents who are educating themselves with regards to their child's recently diagnosed condition, any adult that has just been diagnosed, and is seeking information, resources, options and help, along with those veteran Spondylolisthesis sufferers), may take time to research the condition to the best of their ability, ask many questions, thoroughly investigate all options that may be available (both western medicine and alternative health care), and feel free to contact me with any questions, advice, stories, or anything else that may be prevalent to the goal of assisting each other in making the pain, along with our general quality of life, a little better. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;">This condition is a life long presence and battle. It can be very scary, painful, and all around difficult. I will share my timeline from my earliest pain and symptoms, to my surgeries, and ultimately, my current struggles. I pray that this page may help both those facing a Spondylolisthesis diagnosis, along with anyone whom finds themselves seeking support for a family member or friend. Even if I only manage to reach just one person struggling to stay afloat in this overwhelming process, I will be grateful that my painful experience was able to make another's less frightening and isolating. I know that there are others out there, and I cannot allow those whom are facing the same daunting unknown, struggle through the darkness, when I have already walked the journey. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;">As a last note, if you are dealing with ANY chronic health condition, please take a moment to read both the poem "Footprints In The Sand"; "The Spoon Theory." ~ Blessings ~</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Multifidus-Back-Pain-Solution-Exercises/dp/1572242787?ie=UTF8&tag=a00bef-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">The Multifidus Back Pain Solution: Simple Exercises That Target the Muscles That Count</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a00bef-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1572242787" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Medifocus-Guidebook-Spondylolisthesis-Inc-Medifocus-com/dp/1453715878?ie=UTF8&tag=a00bef-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Medifocus Guidebook on: Spondylolisthesis</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a00bef-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=1453715878" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Teeter-Hang-Ups-Stretch-Stretcher/dp/B003BNZ1KC?ie=UTF8&tag=a00bef-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969" target="_blank">Teeter Hang Ups Spinal Stretch Back Stretcher</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=a00bef-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=B003BNZ1KC" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 14px;"><iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=a00bef-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0781776333&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 19.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #fce5cd;"><br />
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